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We’re Creating a Dystopia

We're All Responsible for the Dystopia We're Creating

According to my personal observations and some statistics, it seems to me that our post-modern society is starting to stagnate. When I take a step back from my personal endeavours and look at the bigger picture – it’s starting to look more and more like an Orwellian dystopia. The worst part – we’re all responsible for allowing it. The responsibility we bare yet neglect comes in a multitude of forms. The acts we commit, the acts we allow others to commit and most of all our collective inactivity when it’s needed the most. It’s as if most of us have become so docile and indulgent that we just go with the flow no matter where it takes us.

In this article I want to bring up some of the manifestations as well as causes of our social and cultural stagnation. As well as brush over some socio-political ideas that sound virtuous, but in reality are very much toxic and manipulative. I also acknowledge that some of the points and criticisms that I’m going to bring up might sound conservative, harsh or uncomfortable. Nevertheless I believe that these points need to be discussed critically in a civil way. Another thing that I want to clear up beforehand is as follows. It’s not my goal to put anyone down or to dismiss things people have experienced. My only goal is to bring up some points of concern and start a healthy debate. And in case I’m wrong about something – I’ll gladly accept it and educate myself further.

Homes with No Love

Our social conditioning begins as soon as we’re born. Before we’re exposed to the wider world, we learn our first social interactions from our parents. Before we become self aware and start to think for ourselves, we watch our parents interact with each other. We absorb the way the talk to each other, how they react to things and how they resolve various situations and conflicts.

When a child is born in a family where both mother and father are present, it learns how men and women interact with each other and how some elements of relationships work. When a child is born in a single parent household, no matter how good the parent is, the child is instantly missing 50% of the basic knowledge they’re entitled to. Yes, a single parent can raise a functioning adult. There are many examples of single parents who have done a great job at raising a child. Nevertheless no matter how wealthy, present and loving the single parent is, the child still misses the perspective of the second parent and that needs to be acknowledged.

When a child is born in a loving family with two parents who are able to communicate well. The child is able to observe and learn social interactions, communication, problem solving and what a healthy relationship and a family look like. That then enables the child to continue their learning and social integration much easier. The child is more able to integrate with other children and the world around them. Their mental health is more stable. They have a healthy support system and a subtle sense of security (which may not translate into financial security). They have a good example of how relationships work, so in turn they’re more able to form meaningful long lasting relationships and commitments.

Of course there are countless variables that come into play and circumstances that affect that child’s development. There’s no promise that a child from a healthy family won’t get addicted to drugs or won’t get traumatised by something later on in life. Yet giving a child a good foundation should be any parents main priority.

When a child is born in a single parent household, it’s instantly stripped of the second parent figure. Their experience is limited and from that many hurtles sprout. Too often single parent households have an abusive or neglectful “undertone” due to resentment towards the second parent. Even when the child’s care taker finds a new partner, it’s not too likely that the new step-parent will treat the child as if it was their own. It’s also worth mentioning that more often than not, single parent households struggle financially. That in itself is a cause of many stresses and difficulties.

Children tend to mimic their parents and behaviours they observe at home. When parents display aggression towards one another – the child displays the same behaviour towards their siblings and peers. When children observe abuse, a lack of loyalty or communication – they struggle with same issues in their relationships later on as they don’t have a better example to follow.

Yes, it’s possible to go to therapy and work through those issues. Sadly many of us are unable to afford such luxury. Those are either forced to continue those toxic patterns or work immensely hard by observing themselves and their surrounding, learning by trial and error in order to heal their obtained patterns. Of course the child can’t be blamed for their parents. Yet it’s parents duty to be responsible and less self centred in order to create the best possible conditions for their child with what they have or are able to make. If the parents can’t make that type of a commitment, it’s not very wise to bring a child into this world. Especially when contraception and sexual education is more available than ever before.

Outdated Education System

Unarguably our basic education system has its benefits. It provides space for communication, learning basic social skills and obtaining base knowledge that is needed in order to function in our current society. I must also acknowledge that while criticising the education system that taught me, I am also aware of the fact that I’m speaking from a privileged position. There are places in the world where people are unable to receive what each human should be entitled to.

Yet criticising that what should be a basic human right is necessary and although a privilege, is not in bad taste. Saying that criticising our first world education system is in bad taste because it’s a first world privilege is ignorant to say the least. The fact that it’s still unavailable worldwide and we’re facing so many social and environmental problems clearly indicates that our schools and universities are failing us to a degree.

Any contributing member of society is responsible to criticise, start debates and create change where needed, whenever one sees that something vital like education is lacking or failing. In a way  it is our social duty, being born in first world middle or upper class to create better conditions and opportunities for further generations so that the next generations can thrive far beyond our years.

First and foremost, our current education system was designed to teach basic social skills and robotic obedience. Kids are not taught to think for themselves or to explore their potential. They’re taught to complete specific tasks according to specific methodologies, to memorise things and answer almost word by word. In a way the schools take in unique children and mould them into worker bees alike. Those that do not conform usually end up with lower grades or quit school as within the school system they’re shunned.

Universities are becoming places where people obtain massive debts instead of education. And when students graduate, they often find themselves unemployed with degrees that have no practical application in the real world. Many western universities (mainly in USA) are no longer places where people learn and discuss ideas, but places where pseudo-progressive leftist narratives are being forced onto people. As a result many of us first world residents end up with only basic tip of the iceberg knowledge of the world, massive student debts and barely any understanding of who we are and what we’re capable of.

As technology develops rapidly, so does our society. Sadly education system is one thing that is constantly falling behind. Although the books are being updated every couple of years, they’re updating the contents and not the methodology or purpose. And as we’re now living in the most peaceful time in history where many of us have access to many previously unknown comforts. We start to experiment with new ideas and views that may or may not benefit us as individuals and as a society. In a way all this is understandable, yet that doesn’t mean it should be accepted. Like a growing human being, we as a society make mistakes. Yet w should hold ourselves accountable and reflect on our actions. As it was mentioned previously, basic education is something every human being should be entitled to. As we see, it’s lacking in many departments. Previous generations haven’t managed to make it accessible to everyone, so in a way it is now the duty of our generation to improve on the work of our predecessors.

Lack of Meaningful Connections

For past 20 years we’ve had more access to connectivity than ever before in our history. We can now instantly connect with people on the other side of the globe. We have access to infinite amounts of information and we’re now able to generate income on the internet. We can observe the lives of millions of people and interact with them on various platforms. Yet despite the virtual connection we’ve created, as people we’ve never been this disconnected from each other and the real world.

Divorce rates are at an all time high. Single parenthood is becoming a new norm. Children are often put into daycare and pre-schools and then schools straight afterwards. There they are basically raised by their peers and care takers and teachers who themselves often don’t have the best approach at raising kids or updated information to educate them properly. We often don’t see meaningful connections at home where it’s most important. In schools we are disciplined and shunned for our basic childish behaviours that are completely natural and crucial for our social development.

Friendships are becoming more and more superficial and digitalised. Based on material items or virtual social points like how many followers somebody has on Instagram or how many likes they get on TikTok. As many kids don’t see loyalty, effort or commitment at home, they are unable to replicate them in their relationships. And so gossiping, betrayals and toxic activities start to take place.

Intimate relationships are no longer intimate and private. As people are seeing skyrocketing divorce rates and how marriage is being misused. As they see how cheating and polyamory are being normalised online and how loyalty to your partner is seen as luxury and commitment is seen as threatening. And it makes sense. If you didn’t see your parents in a happy marriage, you didn’t see it in your friends parents, you know marriage is no longer a life time commitment and the chances of your marriage ending in a financially devastating divorce are growing – why would you commit to someone? Especially when the internet makes it possible to access a far wider pool of potential partners than your immediate surrounding. When on Instagram you see hundreds of attractive people. When you can go on any dating platform and cherry pick people you’d interact with. When you can get a quick dose of dopamine from watching porn or talking to a virtual paid girlfriend experience on OnlyFans.

Lets take Tinder for example. It’s a fairly new dating platform that has innovated dating through introduction of swiping. Once again before I start criticising, let me name few positive things dating apps have contributed to. Dating apps like Tinder have made it easier for people to find and meet each other. After a fairly simple process you can look for potential dating partners in your area or in any location you may choose.

Dating platforms have made dating much easier for people with disabilities and those who have a hard time striking a conversation in real life. There are plenty examples of people who have successfully found long term partners on those dating platforms. And yes, in real life we do the swiping in our heads by quickly deciding if we will approach a person or if we will respond to them approaching us. Yet there’s also a price we have to pay for the comfort of simplified dating.

One of the main silent selling points of Tinder is the reduction of real life rejection. Rejection is scary and it has an actual impact on our cognitive functions, mental and physical health. Yet it’s necessary for our social development. We need a bit of devastation in order to learn what behaviour is socially acceptable and where we need to improve. Tinder takes that away from us. On tinder we either simply don’t get a match or we get ghosted, which are far less scary than being told off in real life.

Instead Tinder gives us hope and small doses of dopamine. We see the seemingly infinite pool of people and as we swipe through them, we hope that eventually we’ll find and match with that perfect candidate. Every time we hear that match sound or get a notification, we get a dose of dopamine, we feel accomplished. Suddenly we start to crave for more. In a way the simple mechanical swiping can be compared to slots in casinos. We’re repeating an action and hope for a reward.

Another consequence of swiping for matches on Tinder is the belief that there’s always someone better out there. This underlying thought is damaging as it takes away the motivation for commitment and effort. “Why even try? If the person is even slightly off or imperfect, I’ll just find another one.” In many ways Tinder has turned dating into a game where it’s more important to get a new match rather than finding a meaningful relationship.

In addition the hookup culture is constantly telling us that being single is empowering and that monogamy is outdated. That by not having kids we’re saving the planet. That sex is nothing more than something casual. But one thing that the hookup culture and Tinder don’t promote is the idea that easy pleasure makes us miserable in the long run.

At work we feel barely valuable. Many jobs nowadays are completely useless and are there just to keep people busy. Considering our current work culture – most of us are small overworking cogs that can be replaced either by tech or by another human being as soon as we are no longer efficient. Work relationships are often hollowed out to the point where discussing something personal or intimate is no longer acceptable and communicating outside of work is considered weird.

Deep down many know that the work they’re doing is not valuable at all and that they don’t enjoy it. But they’re forced to do it in order to get by. So many people end up drifting through life with no meaningful activity at work or any valuable relationships at place where they spend most of their waking hours.

Porn and OnlyFans are also strongly contributing to our collective loneliness. Why go out there and look for a meaningful relationship when you can get a quick hit of dopamine by watching porn? And with access  to a vast catalog of content, you start to look  for more fulfilling and more degrading content. That to the point where you’re desensitised to intimacy and can’t be aroused by anything natural or regular.

Then there’s rapidly growing OnlyFans where you can buy virtual synthetic intimacy for about €5 a pop. Where insecure and socially awkward men pay to interact with women who secretly despise them. It is no secret that men using OnlyFans are reporting that they are lonely and depressed. And the same goes for those who provide their services on the platform. Many OnlyFans models are reporting that they too are lonely, that they are struggling with finding love and forming meaningful relationships as well as struggling with intimacy.

In reality it’s the real life connection we’re looking for. We want to feel valuable and appreciated by our communities. We want to feel connected with our friends and family. We want to build meaningful relationships and have shared experiences. We want to do something meaningful and something that we can be proud of. It’s no wonder that the healthiest people have good relationships with their close ones and are engaging in balanced social and professional activities. Yet consciously and subconsciously we’re constantly ridding ourselves of those basic necessities.

False Instant Gratification

As it was previously mentioned. Social media and online dating have turned us into antisocial, depressed, insecure and anxious dopamine addicts who are constantly chasing another quick shot of excitement and satisfaction. Our attention span has been shortened to that of a gold fish (figuratively speaking) and the goals we are chasing don’t contribute to our long term happiness. Here we will focus only on the false gratifications we get online as right now only those are relevant to this article.

It is now becoming more publicly known that many functions of social media like notifications, likes, followers and algorithms have been designed to be addictive by triggering specific responses in our brains. As time passes and more people start to use social media, we are now starting to see the effects of those features on our mental health and overall health of our society.

As we’re becoming more and more attached to our smartphones, we find it harder to communicate in real life. We can hardly focus on a conversation as we’re feeling a constant urge to check our phones for new notifications or content. All that without even realising how irrelevant those digital social metrics are. Likes, followers and subscribers don’t equal or contribute to our happiness. All they do is boost our already inflated egos and give us quick hits of dopamine making us more and more insensitive to the real world and less motivated to pursue things that require real effort. In reality goals and achievements that require more time and effort are more rewarding and we appreciate them more. Yet as with any addiction, when the rush of excitement and satisfaction is easily accessible, we get comfortable and stop striving.

Dating apps give us a false sense of validation and desire. A false sense of accomplishment when we get new matches and a constant stream of potential new partners. Digital escort gives us an illusion of connection and messaging apps with gifs, emojis and short messages give us a sense of fulfilling communication. Although when a message is written without any emojis, we take it seriously and if we receive a paragraph, we get intimidated by the amount of characters we see.

Instagram shows us edited and often orchestrated highlights of peoples lives making us insecure about our own choices and circumstances. We see how lavish and eccentric lifestyles are being praised and how unedited modest lifestyles are being ignored or laughed at. We scroll through the feed for hours looking at people brag about the exciting lives they’re living. Nevertheless occasional dopamine hits and envy keep us scrolling and without even noticing it, we spend hours voluntarily destroying our own mental health and peace of mind.

When we think of entertainment – reading books, going out on hikes, picking up new hobbies or  hosting a dinner with friends aren’t the first things that come to mind. We think about Netflix, YouTube and TikTok. More specifically we gravitate towards shorter and more overstimulating content. Like 15-30 second videos on TikTok. And more often than not (plus considering how TikTok’s algorithm is programmed) we look at vulgar and shocking content rather than something of educational value. Simply speaking, we’re quickly degenerating. To the point where our main idea of entertainment is vulgar, shocking and often disgusting short form content that provides no value to our existence. Even those small dopamine hits can’t be considered valuable in this context, as they keep us away from breaking out of this toxic loop.

Unhealthy Standards

Social as well as mainstream media have been force feeding us unrealistic standards, luxury lifestyles and ridiculous expectations via celebrity media and entertainment in general. Our culture has shifted from valuing art and talent to obsession over celebrities and excessive materialistic possessions and a rat race like chase for fame.

Since our digital presence became an integral part of our day to day lives, media presence has become something that is expected and something to judge by. As if the amount of followers somebody had increased their real life value or added any credibility to what they were saying. If you don’t have at least a couple thousand followers, are you even relevant? If your most recent Instagram post doesn’t get hundreds of likes, are you even attractive? Why would you delete a photo because it didn’t “get enough likes”?

Since the rise of hustle culture it’s now no longer attractive to have a 9-5 job. It seems like everyone and their mother is a business owner or an internet entrepreneur. Overworking and attention seeking are promoted via lifestyle coaches and motivational quotes. Being shocking and vulgar is promoted via algorithms and thus glorified as the same culture glorifies fame and gluttony.

Physical standards have gone into the extremes. Beauty standards are now set by celebrities who have undergone countless plastic surgeries and by actors and bodybuilders who’s physique has been built by not only hard work but steroids and expensive supplements.

With the rise of radical activism, cancel culture and faux-virtuous movements, personal preferences have turned into discrimination, wanting to be healthy – fatphobic, wanting to be monogamous – too conservative. In addition wanting to be healthy is discouraged by all forms of acceptance movements like fat acceptance and others alike. Why would someone want to put in effort into getting fit if it’s now accepted and praised to be unhealthy? Why would you want to be mentally healthy when it’s cool to have a disorder? Pop and internet cultures have turned into a weird bubble where people want to stand out and be unique, but at the same time to fit in and be socially accepted and politically correct. And that is not only confusing, but also harmful to our individual mental and physical health. It is also contributing to our collective destruction. Aside from the environmental damage, we’re damaging our personal relationships, communities and international relations.

We alienate our close ones because our views differ. We want to hold people accountable in the moment for the things they’ve said years or decades ago. We want to ruin peoples lives and incomes just because we believe that their views and actions don’t align with ours. Instead of starting a discussion, learning about the other perspective and educating the other side about ours. We choose to act with aggression and ignorance instead of understanding and critical thinking.

When we try to live up to unrealistic expectations while we’re actively practicing unhealthy standards, we’re setting ourselves up for disaster. In order to avoid this disaster from escalating any further, we need to take individual responsibility for how we approach our lives and how we interact with those who surround us. By doing those things mindfully, we will be able to find working solutions for problems that we’re currently facing.

Informational Overdose

Nowadays we’re constantly being bombarded with information. That to the point where we’re constantly anxious and at the same time unable to slow down and unwind. We’re so addicted to our devices and the availability of information online that we forget to filter it. We forget that the type of information we consume is just as important as the type of food we eat. Mental diet is rarely talked about and yet it’s crucial to our mental wellbeing. The information we consume directly affects our worldview, emotional state, thoughts and behaviour. When taking into consideration that nowadays most of our entertainment, work and communication happen digitally, we can say that we’re always connected to a stream of information of one sort or the other.

All those addictive algorithms, features and comforts of the digital realm keep our minds in a constant state of agitation. While we work out, cook, clean and work – we listen to music or podcasts. Between activities we check our phones. We check our phones while we’re watching movies or while we’re playing video games. We always have something playing in the background. When we turn on the radio we hear suggestive news and ads. Same thing on the TV. Mixed with all the uncertainties that come with our current social and economic situation – how can we not be anxious all the time?

We’ve grown so used to the constant stream of information that we’ve forgotten what peace and quiet feel like. The fact that various self help books, courses, yoga classes and spiritual retreats are growing in popularity. As rapidly growing statistics about depression, anxiety, loneliness and other mental problems clearly indicate that we have a problem.

Mental health is of utmost importance. It is great that mental health is now talked about more and that more people are seeking professional help. Yet as we discuss the importance of mental health, it is also important to talk about all the possible causes of mental health problems and how we could bring about a practical change. How we could reduce our exposure to unnecessary and anxiety inducing information? How to spread awareness on the damages of our digital inventions and how we could counteract them? We need to talk about the predatory tactics of big tech companies and how they profit from making and keeping us miserable. We need to pay more attention to our children and their use of technology as they’re the first generations who have access to such things from an early age.

We need to approach technology, internet, social media and information in general more cautiously. We’ve now learned that making information more accessible to people doesn’t make people happier or more educated. So we need to be more mindful of what we’re doing, why we’re doing it, what information we’re consuming, why we’re consuming it, how does it affect us and how does it contribute to our lives? How does this specific app or platform affect my wellbeing? How much time am I spending on that platform? What am I getting out of it? How does it contribute to my overall happiness? Will I be happy in 10, 30, 50 years?

Yes, it does sound like a lot of mental work as well as reorganisation of personal habits and our collective priorities. Yet this work needs to be done for our own good. We as a collective need to learn to endure the temptations for short term gratification in order to live happier lives and create a better future of all of us and the generations to come.

Declining Mental Health

According to statistics mental health problems are becoming more prevalent each year. It is getting to a point where having mental disorders is becoming a norm and to an extent even being glorified. People are now even using their mental disorders as personality traits and pretend to have one illness or another just to fit in.

According to Adult Prevalence of Mental Illness (AMI) 2022

19.86% of adults are experiencing a mental illness. Equivalent to nearly 50 million Americans.

4.91% are experiencing a severe mental illness.

Adult with Substance Use Disorder 2022

7.74% of adults in America reported having a substance use disorder in the past year.

2.97% of adults in America reported having an illicit drug use disorder in the past year.

5.71% of adults in America reported having an alcohol use disorder in the past year.

Adults with Serious Thoughts of Suicide 2022

The percentage of adults reporting serious thoughts of suicide is 4.58%. The estimated number of adults with serious suicidal thoughts is over 11.4 million – an increase of 664,000 people from last year’s data set.

Youth with At Least One Major Depressive Episode (MDE) 2022

15.08% of youth (age 12-17) report suffering from at least one major depressive episode (MDE) in the past year.

Childhood depression is more likely to persist into adulthood if gone untreated.

The number of youth experiencing MDE increased by 306,000 (1.24%) from last year’s dataset.

Youth with Severe Major Depressive Episode 2022

10.6% of youth (or over 2.5 million youth) cope with severe major depression.

The number of youths experiencing Severe MDE increased by 197,000 from last year’s dataset.

  • 11.7% of adults aged 18 and above regularly feel worry, nervousness or anxiety.
  • 4.8% of adults aged 19 and above feel depressed on regular basis.
  • 55.7 million visits to physician offices with mental disorders as the primary diagnosis.
  • 45,979 suicide death (Suicide deaths per 100,000 population: 14.0)

Although the percentages don’t seem to be too high, they should be taken seriously as even such seemingly small numbers are alarming. Those numbers without the inclusion of statistics that arose with the COVID-19 pandemic alone should make us seriously thoughtful.

As our mental health declines rapidly, we are becoming less able to think critically and perform practically. We are becoming more out of touch with ourselves, our communities and the reality we’re experiencing. We’re slowly breaking apart as a society and we’re becoming more susceptible to manipulations.

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Alex
Author: Alex

I’ve spend a decade working in advertising, social media and cultural industries, which have given me great insights into what’s going on behind the scenes.