10 Things I Learned From Organised Crime
If you told me 10 or 20 years ago that at some point in my life I would find myself in court being convicted for being a part of an international organised crime group – I wouldn’t believe you. Nevertheless that’s the situation I once found myself in. After all the processes and consequences, I’ve had enough time to think about my situation and what the past has taught me. In this article I want to share 10 things I learned from my temporary involvement with organised crime. Though the whole story and how I got into it will be reserved for later.
Disclaimer
I know that some people might find this information repulsive and might close the article or disregard whatever I might say next. To those that do, I understand. I’ve talked about this with enough people to know that there’s a good portion of individuals who find the very fact of being involved with such an activity repulsive, immoral and unforgivable.
It is not my goal to change your mind or to make myself look better. Here my only intention is to share some interesting conclusions I’ve come to thanks to the specific sets of situations I’ve experienced. Why? Simply because I believe that some people may find this information helpful or at least entertaining. At the end of the day, the case is public and has been broadcasted on TV and other news outlets. Might as well share my point of view too.
Within those years of involvement with organised crime, it feels like I’ve managed to collect 20 years worth of experiences. Big profits, massive losses, scams, death threats, police raids, friends funerals and a bunch of other things that are better left for later. Some experiences inspired, some traumatised, some left a life long mark and other ones simply faded into the back of my head. Yet even in solitary confinement I thought “Even if I could go back in time, I wouldn’t. When the inevitable day of my passing comes, I will go knowing that I’ve lived.” And now as some time has passed, despite some difficulties that have come with my conviction, I’m still looking back at those times with a smile. So here are some of the most memorable lessons that I’ve learned.
What Organised Crime Taught Me
1. Money doesn’t equal happiness or satisfaction.
One of the most eye opening experiences happened to me pretty early in my life. I was living with my friends and at the time girlfriend in a nice three story apartment in a nice neighbourhood by the sea. I ate good, had a lot of free time, I could buy myself anything and go anywhere I wanted.
Yet there was always some cryptic feeling deep inside of me. Like a void that I was trying to fill with things and activities, but no matter how much I would hoard, that void wouldn’t shrink.
One afternoon I was in sitting behind the kitchen table. Everyone else was busy with something or away from home and so I was surrounded by complete silence. Only the light rustle of paper and intervallic snaps of rubber could be heard as I was counting and packaging money.
I didn’t like to count money. It was fun in the beginning, but became boring pretty quickly. So I tried to turn it into a meditation. That day I was in the middle of that exact meditation when a sudden realisation snapped me out of it.
“I have a girlfriend, a dog, a few good friends, a place where to stay, a fridge full of food and all this money… Why do I still feel so depressed and miserable?”
Honestly this is the single realisation that I’m most grateful for. And I’m thankful that I was able to experience the privileges and comforts that brought me to it. It wasn’t the fear of being arrested or murdered that made me want to get out of that business and change something about my life.
It was that unexpected chain of thought that stunned me. It made me think, reconsider and start to changing things about my life. Only then I truly understood that money wasn’t the root of all evil or the solution to every problem.
Money is just a tool. A tool for attaining and maintaining things and comfort. A tool that helps one build faster and more efficiently.
2. Looks and jobs don’t define people, though they tell a lot about them.
It may sound surprising to some, but the kindest, most interesting and understanding people I’ve met were criminals. In many cases you could never tell unless they themselves told you, although with some even then it was hard to believe. They came from all possible backgrounds and sub cultures. Some were from rich families and some from single parent households. Some dressed in suits and others wore second hand items as if they were tailored specifically for them. Some slept in luxury apartments and some in their car.
Often this type of occupation is portrayed as something horrifying, brutal and dangerous. That is definitely true for some regions and circles. And there were definitely some situations that I could describe as such. Still most of it was just regular life with many wholesome moments outside of “work”.
We hosted cookouts and had conversations that measured in hours. Discussed experiences, motives and what we will do when we finally quit. I saw those people do kind things for their relatives, friends and just nice people they encountered on the streets. I saw them being forgiving in moments when one could assume they wouldn’t be.
Despite what one would assume, they were more tolerant and open minded than those who say they’re very inclusive and claim to have high moral values. I’m thankful for all those conversations as they have taught me humility and to look for the essence of the people I’m talking to.
3. Honesty is always the way to go… although revealing it is a form of art.
Since my early childhood I heard my dad tell stories how people he once knew got caught up in some ordeals and ended up going missing. Even during my short career I encountered some individuals who got caught stealing, lying and scamming people in their surrounding and ended up severely injured or dead.
The accumulation of those observations made it clear to me – I’d rather be honest at all times and face the consequences of my actions than end up in ruin due to lies. Adopting that attitude made my life much easier. I didn’t have to waste energy on maintaining the lies or worrying about what would happen if people found out.
If I messed up, I admitted to it and if I was able to get the situation back on track, I did. In retrospect that exact approach was one of the main reasons why I managed to get out of some rather dire situations.
But make no mistake. Just like maintaining lies takes effort, so does revealing the truth. Just being brutally honest can be dangerous too as different people react differently. The art of speaking the truth lies in methodology. The tone of your voice, timing, the words you use and how you position yourself. All of those things contribute to the success or failure of what one’s trying to communicate.
4. Greed will ruin you.
Greed is a hell of a drug. According to my observations, greed has been the main cause for why things have gone south. Whether it’s the inability to wait until a better opportunity arrises or the need to over consume whatever is at hand. When people are unable to moderate their desires or discipline themselves, they’re setting themselves up for failure in one way or the other.
I myself have been greedy too and as a result I’ve had to deal with the unpleasant consequences. Though I have to admit that I’ve been extremely lucky as well. I’m alive and free, while some of my ex colleagues have been less fortunate.
Honestly speaking I can’t give direct guidelines on how to moderate greed. As the roots of greed lie in internal dissatisfaction which may come from a variety of places – I believe that each one of us should find their own way of tackling it. The only advice I can give here is as follows.
Be honest and observant with yourself. Look within and find in yourself what you’ve been looking for on the outside.
5. Be nice to people regardless of your position.
When people suddenly find themselves in a position of power, they tend to get lost in it. It’s especially easy to lose your mind when you have access to money and a variety of substances.
It’s easy to acquire a mentality where you see yourself as bigger and better than others. That often leads to people being disrespectful and neglectful towards others. And though in the beginning it might not seem like a big deal, more often than not this type of behaviour ends up backfiring massively.
For example there was once a man who was rude and aggressive towards the people he worked with. Not always of course. He had done some nice gestures too. Nevertheless when all went sour – he was the first one to catch all the charges as nobody wanted to stand by his side or cover up for him.
As he no longer had the power to threaten anyone, people no longer feared him. And as soon as all protection and privacy crumbled down and long sentences were on the table – everyone quickly chose the position most suitable for them. On the other hand the guy he was working with was always nice and respectful. As a result nobody wanted to say anything incriminating against him.
At the end of the day we’re all people. Regardless of our differences, we all want the same things. If we treat each other with respect and kindness, it will eventually come back to us in one form or the other. Some may call it karma, but I prefer to call it “human relations”. After all we leave a mark on each person we encounter and people tend to share their experiences with others.
You treat people nicely, they will talk about it and there’s a higher chance other people will treating you nicely. If you are rude and disrespectful, nobody will want to affiliate with you unless they’re in a dire need.
6. Strong bonds are forged in times of struggle.
My mom once said “You truly know a person when you have travelled, lived and worked together.” and her words have stuck with me ever since.
There are a few select friends I can call family. The reason is simple, I trust them with my life. Why? Because we went through thick and thin together. We’ve been scammed, we’ve been arrested. We had to sit in jail and testify against each other. We had countless opportunities to stab one another in the back or simply leave when things started looking bad. Yet that never happened.
No matter how questionable our circumstances got, we always had the same attitude. “We’ll power through this.” and we did. Our friendship has been tested more than once and probably will be tested yet again at some point, but that’s okay. We’ll get through that too.
Gratitude comes when you have experienced contrast. I’m thankful for those few true friends, because I’ve experienced betrayal and other unpleasant encounters with people I once called friends. Nevertheless I choose not to hold any grudges.
7. Appreciate people while they’re there.
This is the part where I’m the most guilty. Not being appreciative of my friends. Being caught up in a stressful job that involved daily risks was taxing mentally and physically. While stuck in that tunnel vision, I had a hard time paying enough attention to the thoughts, feelings and actions of my friends and even at the time my girlfriend.
I did acknowledge their presence and I was aware of some of the things that they we’re going through. To an extent I was grateful for their presence. Yet I was selfish and my focus wasn’t where it should have been. I was too focused on the idea of providing and building something. While at it, I didn’t notice how even among my own flatmates some people were falling apart.
At the time I though “I’m busy and they know it. If they’ll need me, they’ll ask. If they’re not asking it means they can handle whatever they’re dealing with.”
Sadly only when I saw my friends father cry as he carried the open casket with the lifeless body of his son. Only then I understood how wrong I was.
Only then it got to me. It wasn’t as much about providing as it was about simply being there. Only when my flatmate passed, did I start to see beyond the surface. It took his absence for me to notice the small signs that hinted at his inner turbulence. How in times when he simply needed to talk or hear some words of support, I chose to criticise and judge him. How I completely ignored all of the small gestures of gratitude that he expressed. Although in a clumsy manner and rarely as intended, he tried his best in his own way.
Although your departure was sudden and bitter, you taught us a great lesson about appreciation and compassion. Your youthful laughter will be remembered by all of us. Thank you and I hope you’re having fun watching us try to navigate through life.
8. You haven’t made it unless you’ve lost it and made it back.
Every now and then we get lucky. Every once in a while we stumble upon a way to make easy money. When that’s the case, with some discipline and planning – it’s not too hard to stack up some cash.
It’s easy to become full of yourself when you suddenly achieve relative success. Matter of fact we constantly see people rise to success in different industries. Most of us have probably seen people lose the fortune they made or that they were given.
What we see rarely though is when people who have lost it all make it back. Why? Because it takes much more effort and character to accept defeat, get back on your feet and return to building back the fortune you’ve lost.
Personally speaking, I guess I could say I managed to achieve some form of relative minor success. I also managed to mess it up and lose it. Aside from the financial losses, the long anticipated consequences in form of fines, public court hearings and restrictions came along as well.
I guess I could also admit to the fact that it was a rather strong blow against my mental and physical health. I lost a lot of weight, I couldn’t sleep, I was always anxious and paranoia would haunt me for a long time. I’d even add that some of those problems are still popping up every now and then.
Nevertheless after some critical thinking, self reflection and getting back up on my feet – I’d say I’m feeling pretty good and motivated to improve myself and get to building something more meaningful.
9. If you have the balls to do it, have the balls to take responsibility for it.
Wanting something is in our nature, so is our yearning for something better. Yet what I’ve been noticing more and more in recent years is people wanting not only better, but that in excess (and I too am partially guilty of that). Partially that is promoted by mainstream and social media. Plus what else can we expect from a capitalist society.
But here’s the thing. Too often we’re forgetting that getting something requires effort. Wanting something more or even better requires even more effort. And lets not forget that with material gains, social positions and any form of power, there’s also responsibility that comes.
My experiences taught me that if I want something, I must accept the responsibility that comes with attaining and maintaining it. Not to mention the potential risks that may follow with one or the other endeavour.
If responsibility is not acknowledged nor taken, chances of something backfiring grow exponentially. When I was getting into the business I knew exactly what consequences I could face. When they did, I accepted them. Although I have to admit that in many ways they were much more stressful than I had anticipated. Simply speaking – If you have the balls to do it, have the balls to take responsibility for it.
10. You can always come out on top.
Failures are unpleasant yet necessary. Over time I even learned to be thankful for my failures and the lessons they have taught me. Successes were planned and achieved methodically. On the other hand failures were the most eye opening and insightful. And I’ll add that no matter how counter intuitive it sounds – Knowing how to fail is a great skill.
There were occasions when I had to take losses. Sometimes big, sometimes small and sometimes so big that I had to give up all comforts in order to get things back in order. At times my miscalculated decisions created losses for others. When that happened I had to accept extra responsibility and try extra hard to fix the mess I’ve made. Simply because in that industry, messing up big time often meant either serious injuries or death.
Maybe because of luck or a specific work ethic, I’ve always managed to come out of those situations on top. Often even with unexpected gains in authority or in a form of extra income. Plus I noticed how accepting responsibility for losses, not running away, but being honest about my mistakes made people feel some type of way.
If I did something wrong – I admitted to it and that built trust. If later on something went south again, people didn’t start pressuring or stressing me out. They just said “Let me know when all is good again.” and let me do my thing in peace. At the same time I saw many others encounter the same hurtles I did, yet their consequences were often much more severe than mine.
Those experiences taught me a great lesson. No matter how bad things can get, there’s always an opportunity to come out in a better position than before.
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Author: Alex
I’ve spend a decade working in advertising, social media and cultural industries, which have given me great insights into what’s going on behind the scenes.